Determining your limiting beliefs and how to break past them
Have you ever heard the term ‘limiting beliefs?” Or ever feel like you’ve been working toward the same goal for such a long time, yet you never seem to make any real progress? Maybe you struggle with maintaining a positive outlook.
I want you to consider some of the beliefs that you have about yourself and your life. These could be things you currently believe to be true about yourself, others, your relationships, the way society works, your purpose in life, etc…. You can have a limiting belief in any area of your life, and my bet is that you currently have more than one that is holding you back.
what even is a limiting belief?
A limiting belief is a belief you have about yourself/others/life that is not actual fact, but that is having a negative effect on your life. It’s LIMITING how much you can achieve, because you cannot get past the belief and are living as though this is a hard fact rather than something that can change over time.
For example, you may have been told over the years that you’re not good in school. You don’t perform well during exams, or you can’t pay attention. And maybe those are facts. But, what if they aren’t? What if these are beliefs that others have had about you (typically made based on an initial assumption), that you have heard over and over and over, until you and everyone around you simply allowed this to become your truth? Possibly, if given the opposite encouragement (that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to; you’re excellent at hands-on assignments; or you thrive in one on one settings), you would have been extremely successful in your classes and achieved higher grades. This difference alone could have had an impact on which degree or career you chose to pursue.
I’m not at all saying that what someone says about you determines your life or your own personal efforts. You and only you are responsible for your actions. But imagine developing that type of negative core belief and how that can impact other areas of your life and how you interact for years to come.
Limiting beliefs can be very hard to identify at first- mostly because it starts similarly to the example above- you have been taught or told this from a very young age before you ever learned to question it. Unfortunately, this makes it very easy for limiting beliefs to seep into all areas of your life before you have even realized it as well.
I know for myself, one of my limiting beliefs was that I’m shy. I cannot tell you how many people have told me that over the years. And 99% of the time, it was referred to in a negative way. When you hear that consistently from so many different people, specifically close family and friends, it becomes very hard to stray from that. What I have come to realize later in life about this specific belief, is that although I would consider myself an introvert, I can be very outgoing with the right people and on my own terms. It took close to 28 years for me to overcome this belief though, because it was so woven into my life and supported by so many people.
HOw can you overcome these beliefs, especially when they've been engrained for so long?
This is the kind of the hard part.
Once you have identified what your specific limiting beliefs are, I want you to actually write them out on paper or in your phone. Start thinking about how these became your truth. Were you taught this belief based on how or where you were raised? Did you learn this from your friends in high school or college, or maybe during your first job? Did you tell yourself you were never good enough because you never felt you could live up to someone else’s expectations or plans for your life?
These are just some examples, but take some time to determine how you got to that point. Then start thinking about how this belief has limited you in different areas of your life.
For example: do you base your relationships off this belief, or did you decide you couldn’t do something in your career or follow your passion because you thought this belief to be true?
It’s frustrating to realize that YOU are what is holding you back. Allowing these limiting beliefs to hold so much power in your life and for so long can be really hard to admit. But, once you become aware of them and the root cause, it does get easier to resolve them!
A few things that have helped me break through some of these beliefs:
- Journaling: start writing down your thoughts, your passions, what you want to truly achieve in life (even if you thought in the past that you couldn’t possibly do it)
- Take an enneagram test: while this is not always the most accurate, this can be really helpful in learning and understanding your thought process and your values. It teaches you what motivates you specifically and how to overcome some of your weaknesses.
- Self-development books: start reading as much as you can. Get outside your own head and find out what other people think! It’s incredibly valuable to read about other’s successes and failures. I would encourage you to specifically reach for books that you know will challenge your current thought process. For me personally, the Bible is the number one book that has allowed me to determine what is and is not true in my life. This may not be the case for you, but it has been monumental in my personal growth.
- Consider counseling: there is nothing wrong with seeking out a professional to help you move past some of these barriers. An objective voice is very helpful as well as a safe space to release your thoughts.
- Track your habits: pay attention to what you do on a consistent basis and start noticing WHY you do it. If you struggle with staying consistent with your workouts and nutrition, is it because you are allowing yourself to give in to a limiting belief that you won’t ever make the progress you’re looking for? Start noticing the motives behind your actions. And maybe you’ll be able to make some new, more positive habits along the way.
- Consistently reject your limiting beliefs: now that you can identify what your specific struggles are, you can immediately reject these thoughts when they come up. When the thought pops in your head, you can make note of it, but say to yourself ‘that is not correct, and that is not my truth.’ The more consistent you are with this, the easier it becomes to overcome the beliefs.
I promise you, if you take the time to think about the steps in this post, your life will begin to change for the better! You can 100% achieve everything you want in life, if you are willing to do the hard work and self-development needed to get there. It just takes time and effort, but you are so worth it!
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I loved reading this post, Sarah! It’s so true — we let other people’s beliefs about us become what we believe to be true and we need to start rejecting that mentality. Also, I think it’s so important we acknowledge that who I am today may not be who I am tomorrow and I’m definitely not who I was yesterday. Change is good! And challenging these limiting beliefs is the good kind of change that propels us into a more authentic and fulfilling future! 🙂
Thank you!! I’m so glad you liked it. And I agree- I’m a very different person today than I was just a few short months ago. Change is good! 🙌